Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Oh, Brother...

This page kinda makes me feel like I am writing for a news paper. That maybe a scary thought since I have no grammar skills! My English teachers would not be proud! I am still not entirely sure that I know where a comma is supposed to go! So bear with me...

I am a tad nervous. My brother has invited me to his home for thanksgiving dinner. That may not seem weird for most families, siblings have siblings over for the holidays, but it is very odd for mine. When my brother and I were young, we fought constantly. I mean in a very hateful manner. My stepfather would egg on my brother, calling me names and instigating fights. I don't bring this up because I want to share my abusive childhood, but because it has a huge effect on our relationship now. When we started high school, I moved with my father, and my brother moved with Mom and new step dad to California. We never had a chance to go through the older years where you start to learn to respect each other.

A few years ago he did apologize for what he put me through, and commended me for how I turned out despite him. But for some odd reason I still feel inferior! Makes no sense considering he is not the model of success one should look up to. He was always the "cool" older brother, which really just meant he made really bad decisions and got away with most of them. All of my friends hung out with me just for a chance to meet him! Needless to say, he still makes me nervous!

I am not sure if I can keep my weight loss attempts away from him this holiday. I have been a vegetarian for 13 year and still get flack for that after all these years! Call me weak, but I for sure don't want him to pick on me for it! I still feel like that little kid sister that always annoyed him. Now is the time when we are supposed to atleast be friends. Wish me luck on this adventure!

I hope you all have an amazing jerk-free-turkey day!And if you think about, less points if you stay away from that poor dead turkey! Stay focused and keep the weight off, like I plan to! I will be sure to let you know how it goes!

P.S.If by chance you are by chance reading these blogs, click the follow button. It would be nice to see if people are reading...a bit of encouragement! That goes for any persons blog you read and enjoy, give them some love!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Some"thin" wrong with my mirror!

Some”thins” wrong with my mirror! I walked into my bathroom on one of my many potty breaks (getting in that water!), and ran into the mirror. Now my mirror was never really a good friend. Sure I wake up and spend at least 20 minutes quality time with it, but I never look really hard. Just enough to apply a subtle amount of make up, and tame this mad curly hair.

Today I feel as though it has been lying to me! I actually looked and though to myself may be I am not as big as I thought! I let myself get to this point because my stupid mirror doesn’t show the real me! I ran to my closet, which was pointless because it is maybe 5 steps from my bathroom and pulled out a large mirror that I had hidden there. I pulled it out and attempted to get my full profile to fit in its frame. I was shocked by what I saw. Apparently the magnification on the mirror above my sink is much higher then other mirrors.

I knew that some stores (cough…cough… Lane Bryant) have mirrors that make you look small, but never did I think that my own mirror would betray me! So I said the mirror (as if it could hear me) “You belong in a fun house, stupid liar!!” So now I have placed my once hidden closet mirror up over the bathroom mirror to give me a more accurate depiction (as seen in picture)! With that I leave you lyrics…

“I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue up in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer,
But my breath fogged up the glass
So I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue” - Jason Mraz
PS: Don't be suprised when you find lyrics attached...It will happen often.

First Week

As of today I weigh 255 pounds. I am 24 years old, and am looking to really start living! I have been on Weight Watchers for one week. I have lost 1.8 pounds so far. Though I know I have a lot to loose, I know it isn’t going to happen fast. This is my effort to be consistent and make healthy eating a part of my everyday life style. I hope to share my stories with anyone who might be in the same boat (if you are then we would be sinking pretty fast!! hehe J ).

This weight, though it is not representative of who I am, has held me back over the last six years. This is a recent picture of me, and I plan on posting more, hopefully at every 20 pounds or so. I will also in the future post some skinny photos so that you can see what I looked like before this mess!

I also have a very fast paced fun life. I travel every week through my job, and experience new adventures all the time. I am a National Recruiter for a great university! With my job I am able to travel all over the states. What triggered this journey was and awesome opportunity to go to Hawaii for a teachers conference. Who wants to see a fat girl in a bathing suit on the beach? I, for one, don’t. I am aware that I am not going to reach my goals by this trip in January, but anything I can do between now and then to knock off the weight (in a healthy manor) I am game. Along with my weight loss journey, I would like to share my adventures through my blog as well.